Nutrition for Your Child: Part 6

STAY-N-WEIGH
Part 6: Mini Mouths – Creating a Foodie Under 2

By Lisa Hassell

Toddler [tod ler] noun
    >See also picky eater

“Toddler” and “picky eater” are practically synonyms as far as many parents are concerned. But just because it might be normal doesn’t mean it’s the healthiest or more enjoyable issue with which to deal.

After a year of very rapid growth during infancy, the growth rate for toddlers slows significantly, so they may actually eat less than they did as babies. Toddlers are also constantly on the go, so sitting still to consume very much at one time may seem as impossible as living on Mars.

1- to 3-year-olds need between 1,000-1,300 calories per day, but they may eat half this amount one day and twice the amount the next. My son’s pediatrician told me to look at what Jacob eats over the course of an entire week rather than day-by-day. Here are some other tips that might help create a little tike who asks for broccoli and baked salmon at a restaurant (we can dream, right?!):

• Since much of what toddlers eat comes between meals, make sure snacks are healthy and varied. One idea is to fill an ice cube tray with bite-sized portions of many different kinds of foods. This gives the child the choice of what to eat and the small amount makes trying new foods less daunting than when a giant pile of spinach stares at him. Set it within reach and he can graze from it over the course of an hour or two. A hungry toddler is NOT a happy toddler, so be sure to offer healthy snacks throughout the day.
• Give foods fun, cute names, such as banana boats or bunny bites (carrots).
• Dips, Spreads, & Toppings – all of these make eating more fun for a toddler, so hand her tiny dishes of dressing, hummus, BBQ sauce, diced tomatoes, peppers, cheese, and a plastic knife.
• Make food look fun by creating faces or little cars and cut things with cookie cutters, such as a sandwich in the shape of a teddy bear.
• Use a blender to make homemade smoothies. You can try various fruit smoothies and even add some spinach, wheat germ, yogurt, or peanut butter. Pour it in a fun, tall milkshake glass and add a colorful, twisty straw.
• Serve meals and snacks in unexpected containers, such as a measuring cup, an ice cream cone, a coffee mug, or even a bowl from her play kitchen.
• Dice, grate, or puree veggies and add them to sauces, pancakes, and homemade breads. Zucchini bread or pancakes are yummy!
• Involve your little one in planting his own veggie garden and choosing foods at the grocery store. Helping tend to the plants or pick them out makes it a little more exciting when he finds them on his plate. Also allow him to help cook. He can pour, stir, gather ingredients, and watch something baking through the window on the oven.
• Bring in peer pressure! Plan meals and playdates with young friends who are good eaters and compliment the other children on how great it is that they ate so many kidney beans at dinner.
• Try preparing foods in many different ways. One child might prefer steamed spinach while another would enjoy a spinach salad with strawberries and a poppyseed dressing. Dip zucchini strips in egg whites and bread crumbs and bake for some “dippable” sticks.
• Establish a “one bite” rule. Everyone at the table must try one bite of each food. Don’t force children to eat, but use some games and enthusiasm to strongly encourage sampling everything. Just last night Jacob attempted to refuse to try cooked spinach (he’d never had it served that way). Once I encouraged him to just try one tiny bite, he actually loved it and ate the rest!
• Create easy-to-reach shelves in a cupboard and fridge for ready-to-eat snacks, such as whole grain crackers and baby carrot sticks. Simply having a variety of foods from which to choose works wonders for a picky toddler.
• Although it’s best to have a few different foods at each meal and allow toddlers some freedom in choosing what to eat, don’t become a short order cook or create entirely separate meals for your child. If you don’t want your child refusing anything that isn’t a chicken nugget, make sure that isn’t the only food you serve her. A two-year-old might not handle extremely spicy Thai food, but there’s no reason to serve her mac ‘n cheese just because the family is having lemon pepper chicken and rice pilaf. If processed, frozen dinosaur nuggets are always an option, that’s what he’s going to choose. Children don’t just wake up on their 18th birthdays with a mature, developed palates. It comes through experience and practice. Start from the very beginning by giving your little one whatever the rest of the family is eating and eventually it will just become second nature to him.

In a nutshell:  Remember that pickiness and stubbornness are simply part of being two or three years old. Keep a positive attitude, don’t force foods or punish for not eating, don’t bribe with dessert, stay consistent in offering a variety of foods, include her in the preparation process, and take comfort in the fact that, hopefully, she’ll eat more than just goldfish crackers and apple juice at her first business dinner 20 years from now!

Source used: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/feeding-infants-toddlers/feeding-picky-eater-17-tips

Coming up next week: Part 7 – Favorite Recipes

This is where YOU come in!! Do you have a really great recipe that you’d be willing to share? A super tasty dish? A quick, easy meal? Something nutritious that the kiddies love? Do you have a trick for mealtime happiness? Send it to tottalks@gmail.com or post it here as a comment. We’d love to hear from you!

Lisa Hassell is a stay-at-home mom to a 2-year-old in Indian Trail, NC. She writes for Stay-N-Play and also has a parenting blog at http://tottalks.wordpress.com.

Nutrition for your Child: Part 5

STAY-N-WEIGH
Part 5: Beverages – An Unlikely Suspect

By Lisa Hassell

People often wonder why they have so much trouble losing weight despite eating healthy foods and exercising. Unfortunately, sometimes that cup of liquid next to your plate might as well be a slice of chocolate cheesecake! Drinks can be loaded with sugar and calories, so as parents we need to be thoughtful about the beverages we serve to our children.

MILK AND WATER
Water and milk should be the only choices children have consistently. Serving them water from a young age helps them become used to a tasteless beverage for quenching thirst and of course it has no calories, sugar, or fat. Try offering water at room temperature and chilled to see which they prefer. For those who just aren’t interested in water, try adding a few slices of lime, lemon, orange, or cucumber, or add just a tiny splash of cranberry juice. Be wary of flavored water that contains a sugar substitute, such as Splenda.

A cup of milk has 300 mg of calcium, which is a critical part of a growing person’s body. 1-3 year olds need 700 mg daily, 4-8 year olds need 1,000 mg daily, and 9-18 year olds need 1,800 mg of calium each day. Avoid introducing children to chocolate milk at a very early age, as they may be less likely to willingly drink plain milk from that point on. However, chocolate milk is still much healthier than a soft drink, so if children truly don’t seem to like milk at all, adding a very small amount of chocolate or strawberry flavoring may help them get the calcium and protein they need.

Babies under the age of 6 months should only have breastmilk or formula. 6-12 month olds can have small sips of water, but their primary drink should still be breastmilk or formula. Children can begin drinking cow’s whole milk at 12 months of age. The fat in whole milk is best for a toddler’s brain development. By age 2 or 3 you may begin replacing your child’s whole milk with 2% or 1% milk.

To help your children get even more milk in them, use it instead of water in things like tomato soup, oatmeal, or hot chocolate.

JUICE
Juice may have fruit names on the label, but it is not a substitution for whole fruit. Doctors recommend that babies ages 6-12 months have no more than 2-4 oz. of juice per day; 1-6 year olds should have no more than 4-6 oz. per day and older children and teens should not exceed more than 12 oz. per day. Keep in mind that these are maximum recommendations, not necessities! My own son learned at a very early age that he only gets juice once per day (first thing in the morning) and he gets about 2 oz. of juice mixed with 2 oz. of water. This makes it last longer for him and also gets a little water in him. By staying consistent about no juice during the rest of the day, I no longer have to deal with his begging for it all day long.

Another note about juice: check the label to make sure it says 100% juice. “Lite” juice and “juice drink” are not 100% juice, meaning there is almost no nutritional value whatsoever and often the sugar is added, rather than from a natural fruit source. Capri-Sun, Hi-C, punch, lemonade, and other popular drinks are sometimes falsely called “juice” but actually offer very little for children other than providing hydration and can even contain more sugar than a soft drink.

SODA, SOFT DRINK, COKE, POP
No matter what you call it, carbonated, caffeinated drinks offer zero nutritional value to our growing children but fill their bellies with empty calories, sugar caffeine, and make them less likely to drink healthy beverages such as milk and water. Soda is linked to tooth decay in children and puts unnatural chemicals into their little bodies.

There is no reason for a baby or toddler to ever even try a soft drink. With older children, let them know it is a special treat and not a regular beverage option. Children who routinely drink soda are likely to drink more and more as they get older, often leading to weight gain and other health problems.

One last suggestion for getting your children to drink healthy beverages is to make it fun with something like a new, cute cup or through a funky, twisty straw. While you stand at the kitchen sink groaning as you hand-wash the strange straw or cup, just remember that your children are fueling their bodies with the most nutritious options, thanks to you!

Sources Used:
http://www.everydayhealth.com/kids-health/choosing-healthy-drinks.aspx
http://kidshealth.org/parent/nutrition_center/healthy_eating/drink_healthy.html#

Coming up:
Part 6: Mini Mouths – Creating a Foodie Under 2
Part 7: Favorite Recipes

Lisa Hassell is a stay-at-home mom to a 2-year-old in Indian Trail, NC. She writes for StayNPlay and also has a parenting blog at http://tottalks.wordpress.com.

Nutrition for your Child: Part 4

STAY-N-WEIGH
Part 4: Snacktime – More Than Just the Munchies

By Lisa Hassell

Do you deny your child an after-school snack because “it’ll ruin his dinner?” There’s no need to worry as long as he’s snacking on nutritious things. Children’s bodies are still growing, so they need to consume enough calories each day to help build new tissue. Because their stomachs are generally too small to handle large meals, small meals and snacks throughout the day are best. Since children will take in many of their daily calories at snack time, it’s critical that parents provide healthy ones packed with nutrients.

By serving good-for-you snacks (and eating them yourself!) you are setting your children up for a lifetime of nutritious eating. It may take multiple tries before a child learns to like a certain food, but by setting an example of eating smart snacks and offering them numerous times, your children are learning that you place importance on what goes into their bodies.

My personal favorite go-to snack for my son and me is an apple with peanut butter. Bags of apples are cheap and have a much longer shelf life than many other fruits, such as bananas. I have this apple cutter & corer ($10 on Amazon and worth every penny!) so it takes seconds to cut an apple into 8 neat slices. I’ve never peeled an apple before so my son doesn’t know the difference; he eats it, skin and all, which is much more nutritious and easier for me! I plop some peanut butter on a plate for protein and we each dip our apple slices in it. Easy!

ME, ME, ME!
Put your toddler’s independence to good use. Give her a choice of snacks. Children like to be in charge, so if you offer several nutritious options, they’re getting something that’s good for them while maintaining their control of the world.

DIP, BABY, DIP!
Kids like to dip, so offer light ranch dressing, applesauce, or a yogurt dip for bananas, grapes, strawberries, bell pepper strips, carrot and celery sticks, and grape tomatoes. Whole grain crackers, baked tortilla chips, or pita triangles are fun to dip in a bean dip. Many fruits and veggies can be washed and cut ahead of time and stored in individual containers in the fridge, making it easier to drop in a bag for preschool or as an after-school snack. Hummus is a tasty snack for many children, too. Dip veggies into it or spread some on a whole wheat tortilla and make a fun-to-eat wrap.

ENTERTAINED EATERS
Keep them busy while feeding them nutritious food. Let kids make fruit kabobs (skewer sticks and a variety of bite-sized fruits) or a mini pizza (English muffin half or mini tortilla, a little jarred tomato sauce and cheese, and some fresh veggies heated in the toaster oven or microwave). My mom used to let me make my own yogurt parfaits. I’d get a choice of several kinds of yogurt and various fruits to layer in a “fancy” milkshake glass.

PACKED WITH PROTEIN
Yogurt and cheese are protein-laden snacks that keep bellies full. Use cookie cutters to create fun shapes with cheese or put some on a rice cake. When using yogurt as a snack, try buying low-fat plain yogurt and mixing it with fresh fruit or sweetening it with a little honey. The colorful, licensed-character yogurt found in most grocery stores may contain as much sugar as a candy bar!

OTHER TREATS
Freeze grapes for a sweet treat rich in vitamins and fiber. Use a combination of milk, juice, yogurt, fruit, and ice to make homemade smoothies or milkshakes in the blender. Throw in a scoop of wheat germ for extra fiber. I still add a scoop of baby grain cereal to my 2-year-old’s applesauce. He loves it. The cereal adds nutrition and thickens the applesauce, making it less messy! You can even make cookies by substituting the oil with applesauce and using dried fruit, nuts, oats, and whole wheat flour.

When you’re cramming items into a lunchbox as you rush out the door or your hungry children just dragged themselves lethargically off the school bus, you need things that are quick and easy. Take a few minutes each weekend to prepare a few snacks that will be available during the week and smile knowing your children are fueling their active, growing bodies with the right stuff.

Sources Used:

• http://www.livestrong.com/article/374497-the-importance-of-healthy-snacks-for-kids/
• http://allrecipes.com/howto/healthy-snacks-for-kids/

Lisa Hassell is a stay-at-home mom to a 2-year-old in Indian Trail, NC. She writes for StayNPlay and also has a parenting blog at http://tottalks.wordpress.com.

Nutrition for your Child: Part 3

STAY-N-WEIGH
Part Three: Mealtime Matters

photo by Veer

When you choose to meet up with a friend you haven’t seen in a while, celebrate a co-worker’s birthday, or work on project details with a business client, chances are you do so over a meal, right? There is a reason for that – mealtime is generally pleasurable! Sitting down to engage in conversation with the important people in our lives fosters warmth, security, and a sense of belonging. And since we all have to eat to survive anyway, mealtime is the perfect opportunity to experience all of that with our family members.

Parents sometimes complain that they don’t know anything going on in their children’s lives or that their children have terrible table manners and are picky eaters. Those are all things that can be addressed with family meals. Mealtime, particularly dinner, should actually be more about socializing and learning good manners than it is about the eating. Use the time to model good manners and etiquette and to introduce new foods that might not be served at McDonalds or in the school cafeteria. Don’t bribe or force your children to eat the foods, but offer them, eat them yourself, and encourage your family to at least try them.

Family dinner isn’t always easy or even feasible for many families. There are business dinners, PTO meetings, piano lessons, soccer practice, church activities, and homework. Aim for at least two or three family dinners together each week. If dinner just doesn’t work for your family, gather around the table for breakfast or lunch. Instead of checking email or watching TV in the mornings, spend 20 minutes at the breakfast table as a family. Instead of picking up the dry cleaning on your lunch break from work, use the time to visit your child at school or daycare for lunch occasionally. Many work-at-home parents have flexible hours that could allow them to spend 30 minutes having breakfast or lunch with their children.

Breakfast and lunch should be the biggest meals of the day. In most other countries dinner is very light and more about having conversation as the day winds down, which is healthier. Aim to have the main course for lunch and just enjoy a salad, fruit, or some yogurt for dinner.

Mealtime doesn’t have to be the biscuits-made-from-scratch that your grandma used to do! Although we should obviously be striving to serve nutritious meals at home, if occasionally getting some take-out Chinese is what gets your whole family together for an hour it’s probably worth it! Pick up fresh subs on your way home from work. Work as a family to make a homemade pizza with a ready-made crust.

MORE SUGGESTIONS FOR MAKING THE MOST OF MEALS:

• Serve meals already dished up on individual plates rather than buffet-style, which encourages larger portions and overeating.
• Turn off the TV. Leappads, ipods, iPhones, and all other electronics must be left away from the table. (Yes, that means you, too!).
• Let the answering machine pick up if the phone rings. Return calls after dinner.
• Instead of asking your children, “what did you do today?” (likely to result in just a shoulder shrug), ask specific questions, such as, “what was your favorite part of math class today?” or “what did you play at recess today?”
• Share things about your day, too. Children like to feel important, and talking about a grown-up job can do just that. Discuss how you felt about certain situations, such as how you were embarrassed when you dropped the oranges at the grocery store or when you spilled iced tea on your boss.
• Using age-appropriate information and facts, discuss worldly topics with your children, such as an earthquake in another country or an upcoming presidential election.

Remember: Mealtime DOES matter to your kids. Make the most of it!

Check back next week as we discuss healthy and new ideas for snack time.

COMING UP:
Part 4: Snacktime – More Than Just The Munchies
Part 5: Beverages – An Unlikely Suspect
Part 6: Mini Mouths – Creating a Foodie Under 2
Part 7: Favorite Recipes

Sources:
http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_articles.asp?id=439
http://www.dukehealth.org/health_library/advice_from_doctors/your_childs_health/obesity 

Lisa Hassell is a stay-at-home mom to a 2-year-old in Indian Trail, NC. She writes for StayNPlay and also has a parenting blog at http://tottalks.wordpress.com .

Nutrition For Your Child: Part 2

STAY-N-WEIGH

Part Two: Eat the Rainbow

 It’s said that variety is the spice of life, and when it comes to what we eat that is especially true. Each different color of fruit or vegetable has different nutrients that our bodies need, so although it’s great if your child regularly eats bananas and peas, he is missing out on some other really important components of a healthy diet if he isn’t eating a variety. It might be time to help him expand his/her horizons (and maybe yours, too!).

BEIGE = BLAH
Yes, potatoes and bananas are good foods, but they shouldn’t be the only produce to touch your child’s lips. If his typical dinner is predominantly white and brown, make a game out of eating a rainbow of foods from now on. Allow your child to help you fill the grocery cart with a rainbow of produce and then work together to learn about new ways to prepare and eat the various foods. Keep a chart on the fridge and see if your kids can eat at least one fruit or veggie from each color group each day. (And no, a red, strawberry-flavored cupcake doesn’t count!)

ROY G. BIV
Remember learning that rainbow acronym in 6^th grade science class? Now see if you can use that somewhat useless tidbit to choose a different fruit or veggie for each color every single day. For purposes of this task, consider blue, indigo, and violet to be the same color “family,” making five color groups total – Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue/Purple. How many days can you go before repeating a food?

Make healthy foods as easy to eat as potato chips and granola bars. When you bring fresh produce home, immediately wash and slice it to store in the fridge so it’s easy to grab. When you slice a bell pepper, divide it into several small reusable containers that you can stick in lunchboxes that week. You can do this while dinner is in the oven. Studies show that cutting vegetables ahead of time does cause them to lose a little nutritional value, but some nutrients is certainly better than none, so if you’re more likely to reach for something simple when you get the munchies make your veggies “simple!” Green peppers don’t do any good if they turn rotten in the drawer of the fridge!

Fresh isn’t always best. Sometimes frozen fruits and vegetables actually contain more nutrients than fresh because companies pick the food at its prime and “flash freeze” it, locking in the nutrients.

START SMALL
If your little one is used to a life where French fries are her only veggie it might take a while to help her develop a taste for other foods, but by making it fun (and not a chore or a criterion for getting dessert!) she might surprise you and eat foods you never dreamed she’d consume. And just because she doesn’t like the ordinary peas and green beans doesn’t mean she wouldn’t love baked kale or edamame. Just continue offering a host of foods. Children should be eating a minimum of five fruits and vegetables every day. Suggest that your child eat at least from one color group each day for the first week, or that she just have one bite from each color in the beginning. Slowly phase healthier foods into her diet. She is much more likely to eat these foods if she isn’t filling up on sweets or starches and if she sees you eating them, too, so make sure you’re setting a good example.

The USDA recently changed their food guidelines by trading the old food pyramid for the updated plate (www.choosemyplate.gov). This visual aid better illustrates what a typical meal should look like, which consists of half the plate being filled with fruits and veggies.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:
· Today I Ate a Rainbow – www.todayiatearainbow.com This site has some great ideas and activities for your children. There are videos teaching children and adults how to use different kinds of produce. I especially enjoyed learning how to make eggplant chips and plan to try that very soon! For $25 you can order a kit that includes a chart and incentive magnets, but most parents could easily make their own for free. The site also sells some cute, helpful shopping lists where you can categorize your items into the different color groups. You can follow this group on Facebook and Twitter.
· GoodVeg on Squidoo – www.squidoo.com/eat-a-rainbow This site has
many recipes and suggestions for eating a variety of fruits and vegetables as well as a chart of sample foods from each color group.
· DK book, I Can Eat a Rainbow by Annabel Karmel -
http://www.amazon.com/Can-Eat-Rainbow-Annabel-
Karmel/dp/1405339063/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1327005580&sr=8-2 This hardcover book is designed for toddlers. The photos of foods grouped by color are appealing for everyone!
· Eating the Alphabet: Fruits & Vegetables from A to Z by Lois Ehlert -
http://www.amazon.com/Eating-Alphabet-Fruits-Vegetables-
Harcourt/dp/0152009027/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1327005720&sr=8-1 Another book designed for toddlers, this one teaches upper- and lowercase letters while also introducing children to fruits and veggies that begin with each letter. It might be fun for a family to go in order and try to eat a food from every letter in a week or two!

Sources:
www.todayiatearainbow.com
www.squidoo.com/eat-a-rainbow
www.kblog.lunchboxbunch.com
www.thehappyfamilymovement.com/2011/10/eating-a-rainbow
www.choosemyplate.gov

http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2011/12/27/2879381/new-years-resolutionkids-

eat.html

Check back next week as we discuss mealtime.

COMING UP:
Part 3: Mealtime Matters
Part 4: Snacktime – More Than Just The Munchies
Part 5: Beverages – An Unlikely Suspect
Part 6: Mini Mouths – Creating a Foodie Under 2
Part 7: Favorite Recipes

Lisa Hassell is a stay-at-home mom to a 2-year-old in Indian Trail, NC. She writes for StayNPlay and also has a parenting blog at http://tottalks.wordpress.com.

Nutrition For Your Child Part 1

STAY-N-WEIGH

Part One: Health and Nutrition for your Child

By Lisa Hassell

After all those holiday treats, this is certainly a popular month for adults to join gyms! But now is also a great time to make a New Year’s Resolution to help your children become healthier, too. As rates of childhood obesity and weight-related diseases in children continue to rise, parents are sometimes left unsure of what to do, how to do it, or even how to find the time to do it.

This is the first of a seven-part Friday Stay-N-Play blog series about child nutrition and wellness. We hope this series will give you good information as well as some tasty and nutritious recipes, fun ideas for your child’s lunchbag, and helpful tips for making your whole family just a bit healthier this year.

THE SCARY STATS

• Nationally, about 10% of children ages 2-5 are overweight.
• According to the 2009North Carolina’s Child Heath Assessment and Monitoring Program (CHAMP), 32% ofNorth Carolina’s 10-17 year-old children are overweight or obese.
• Despite the previous statistic, only 15% of parents describe their children as overweight, indicating that sometimes love really may be blind!
• North Carolinaranks 14th in our country for highest percentage of overweight and obese children ages 10-17.
• Overweight and obese children are more likely to have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, sleep apnea, asthma, type 2 diabetes, joint problems, musculoskeletal discomfort, fatty liver disease, gallstones, and reflux and heartburn. These problems were once mostly associated with adulthood but are now cropping up in more and more children.
• Overweight and obese children are more likely to experience low self-esteem and depression.

Throughout his life, my own son has consistently been at the very top of the growth charts for both height and weight. Although his doctor isn’t concerned and I know Jacob comes by this naturally, given his dad’s size, I still find myself worrying about his future weight and overall health. I guess worrying is what moms do best, right?!

Fortunately, being healthy is about much more than just a number on a scale. A healthy lifestyle made up of nutritious food and daily physical activity is important no matter your child’s weight. Good food and exercise lead to improvements in muscular and skeletal strength, endurance, energy, vision, memory, and the immune system, leading to fewer illnesses.

Here’s to a happy, healthy new year for you and your family!

COMING UP:

Part 2: Eat the Rainbow

Part 3: Mealtime Matters

Part 4: Snacktime – More Than Just The Munchies

Part 5: Beverages – An Unlikely Suspect

Part 6: Mini Mouths – Creating a Foodie Under 2

Part 7: Favorite Recipes

Lisa Hassell is a stay-at-home mom to a 2-year-old in Indian Trail, NC. She writes for StayNPlay and also has a parenting blog at http://tottalks.wordpress.com.

WHEN GOODBYES AREN’T GOOD: EASING THE TRANSITION OF PRESCHOOL DROP-OFF

WHEN GOODBYES AREN’T GOOD: EASING THE TRANSITION OF PRESCHOOL DROP-OFF

By Lisa Hassell

Visit any preschool in America at drop-off time and you are likely to see someone so excited she barely casts a glance back, another person standing nervously in the doorway, and still another crying, screaming, and begging not to be separated from his precious loved one. And those are just the parents!

If you are nervous about an upcoming first day of preschool or your child is currently struggling with your leaving him each day, the following tips may make for a smoother transition for all.

FEAR IS CONTAGIOUS

If you are anxious or have doubts about the situation, your child will pick up on those concerns. It is important for you to help your child view preschool as something fun and exciting, not something to fear or dread. Keep your attitude positive and tell your child that she is going to have fun and do many new, big-girl things. Tell her you are proud of her. Remind her of any fun experiences she’s had at school or in a childcare setting in the past. Point out something specific that is familiar to her or that she will do there. “Look! There are some blocks just like the ones you have at home. Maybe you can show your teacher how you can build a really tall tower!”

(BRIEFLY) ACKNOWLEDGE THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

If your child is truly worried, quickly acknowledge your child’s concerns with a matter-of-fact attitude so as not to undermine his feelings, but then move on. Say something like, “I know you are scared. Sometimes I’m scared, too. It’s ok to be a little afraid, but you will be so proud of yourself when you go to school all by yourself and learn so many new things!” Keep it simple. Don’t ignore his fears but don’t dwell on them either.

STOP, DROP, AND GO

Dropping a child off at preschool is like ripping off a bandage. It might be painful briefly, but it’s over quickly and everyone can move on happily. Parents who linger can actually make the final goodbye more painful and difficult for everyone involved. As hard as it might be, even if your child is screaming, kiss him, tell him you’ll be back soon, and walk away. Then leave. Most children calm down and engross themselves in an activity within minutes. To ease your own worries, plan to call the school fifteen minutes later to check on your child is doing or ask the teacher to call if he is still upset after a certain amount of time. But don’t tell your child about this plan! You don’t want him intentionally using that arrangement as a way to get you to come back.

A FEW NO-NOs

• DON’T take your child back outside the classroom once he’s inside. This makes the process take even longer, raises anxiety, and makes him less willing to go back inside.
• DON’T reinforce the dramatic departure behavior by promising rewards or treats if she stays at school.
• DON’T ask her if she will stay at school. If she’s upset her answer will be “no.” Think about it – in that exact moment, is the decision to stay really up to her?
• DON’T sneak away when your child is distracted. Although that tactic works well for infants, preschoolers may feel abandoned when they realize their parents are gone and be less likely to turn away from them the next time, always wondering when they’re just going to disappear. Although it should be brief, always give your child a loving, reassuring goodbye.
• Establish a special drop-off routine. Maybe you and your child will use a fun type of kiss, such as a butterfly kiss, only at this time. Maybe you will create a special handshake together to be used at drop-off time or choose not to say “goodbye,” but rather “see you later, alligator.” Perhaps you’ll give him a special note for his teacher to read to him after you’re gone or a comfort item such as a teddy bear to hold during the transition.

“GOOD”BYES ARE GOOD FOR KIDS

Although sometimes we parents don’t want to accept this fact, the truth is that our biggest job as parents is to raise our children to become independent, self-sufficient, adaptable adults. That end result doesn’t happen overnight. It comes gradually, beginning in early childhood. Enrolling your child in a preschool program can be one of the most helpful things you can do for his move toward independence. There may be some tears shed at first, but remember that you are teaching your child some valuable lessons beyond just academics: Sometimes we have to do things that are scary or intimidating. Sometimes things don’t go exactly as we want them to go. Sometimes we have to be apart from people we love. We can trust our parents. We have to follow rules set forth by adults other than our parents. We have to work together with our peers, both to form friendships and solve problems.

Those lessons won’t just help our children during preschool. They are lessons to last a lifetime. Now…go give your child the opportunity to learn those lessons while you take some time for yourself!

Lisa Hassell is a stay-at-home mom to a 2-year-old in Indian Trail, NC. She writes for StayNPlay and also has a parenting blog at www.tottalks.wordpress.com.